OK, we all know couples who met on Frumster, got married and live a very happy life together. If I recall correctly Frumster boasts over 1100 matches made (it doesn’t say marriages, it says matches….interesting turn of phrase). I am very happy for these people, and it shows that these sites could work.
I took myself off Frumster almost a month ago. I got so sick and tired of the misrepresentation and the lying and the cheating and the guys who are still married, the men who cannot string a coherent sentence together, the ones who cannot even be bothered to put any effort into wooing you. “do you wanna $#@^?” – that doesn’t count as an expression of interest in my book.
Many of the divorced guys on Frumster, when discussing their divorces, have blamed the ex wife for being totally unbalanced and psychotic, none of them apparently have any blame at all in the break up of their marriage (it takes two to tango, no one is 100% blameless in a divorce). I just find it so interesting that the courts are so repeatedly uninterested in the welfare of the kids that they keep awarding custody to psychotically deranged homicidal maniacal mothers. What is this world coming to? Can no one in this day and age take any responsibility whatsoever? Is it too much to ask for a guy to say “yes we had problems, and I didn’t do enough to help fix them” or “there were issues I ignored” or even “I cheated, and I was wrong..” – does it hurt to be humble, human and honest?
I have been asked the most rude and disgusting questions, from men who present themselves as being above that kind of thing – their profiles all say how they are kovea itim (ie they make time to learn every day). “We’ll have plenty of tefillin dates, but at least we daven and at least we learn. We may be bonking half of the city’s single female population, but at least we can quote gemara.” (oh and they won’t use protection, apparently, because it’s against the torah….oy vey don’t get me started).
I like the premise of Frumster, I like what it sets out to do, to aid and abet religious Jewish singles to meet and marry like-minded individuals. There just needs to be a way for the administrators to check out the people, to vet them, like other dating sites do – I saw you at Sinai, for example. In this day and age we should know better than to be so trusting, but we don’t seem to learn. There is no substitute for introductions through mutual friends who actually KNOW both parties well.
For those of you continuing with Frumster and the like – good luck, please keep your wits about you, don’t meet with anyone until you have checked them out thoroughly – that means not just calling the references you are given, but find someone you know in the area where they live so you can ask a non-biased party for their opinion.
I have complete and utter faith that my knight in shining armour is out there, its even possible we have already met – but sadly Frumster will have to manage without my hard earned cash supporting it.
I am very interested to hear your opinions – experiences etc.
